Today is National Woman Day, a day taken to celebrate and acknowledge the contributions, strengths and accomplishments of all Women. In this day and age where there is still huge gender diversification in terms of pay, senior roles held and general standing in society, a day aimed at promoting women is welcome and needed.

I come across many women each week through networking events, social media interaction and the clients I see. Many of them are running their own businesses or trying to whilst also running a home and raising families. The main conflict I see is that of feeling guilty that they’re not paying enough attention to either. The other main conflict I see is that some of these women want to network, to be present on social media and be visible but the concept of visibility scares them. They don’t feel confident about putting themselves out there, showing themselves above the parapet. What will people think of me? What if they don’t like me or my business? Am I doing it right? These are comments I hear regularly and it saddens me. Many of these women have held demanding, high ranking and senior roles in their previous work places yet despite that, they still feel that they’re lacking in some way.

In the world of NLP (Neuro Linguistsic Programming) we have a saying, “A person is more than their behaviour”, basically meaning a behaviour does not define an individual. Statements like, “I’m not confident”, I am anxious” or “I’m not good at talking about myself” are taken as statements of fact about themselves. Put in another way like, “I can show anxious behaviours”, “sometimes I run a not confident behaviour” or “sometimes I don’t feel strong enough to promote myself” put  a distance between behaviour and fact. We all run certain programmes, based on beliefs we have about ourselves and with a little help, unhelpful, demotivating beliefs can be changed and more successful, confident beliefs installed.

So I applaud National Womens Day but I’ll cheer about it when all the women I come across celebrate themselves and their successes and believe that they are the strong confident women they really are.

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